he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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