Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
You smell like stripper and shame
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
