So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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