When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
