we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Randomize