I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
