I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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