So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
