even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
