You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
