and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
