just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
