some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
