dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
