I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
