My room smells like vodka and shame
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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