I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Randomize
