you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
