i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Randomize