Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Randomize
