My room smells like vodka and shame
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
