nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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