I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Randomize
