Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
