I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize