I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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