I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
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