Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
