Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
