I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
