I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
