Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
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