I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize