the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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