Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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