Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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