They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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