every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Randomize