trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Who died my cat blue again?
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
