butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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