the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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