im drinking this country out of the recession.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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