this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize