i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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