that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize