no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
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