Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
