I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize