Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Randomize
