Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
