And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
