the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
tell me about the fingering
Randomize