Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
She tied me up with her honor cords...
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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