I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
