she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
