My nipple is on Facebook.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
