And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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