She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
