Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
