I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
