Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Randomize
