you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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