i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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