We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I see more hoeing in ur future
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