pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
just tell him i said nine months
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
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