i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Randomize