Do you still have your period?
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
