Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
