he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
last night I used snow as a chaser
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
