Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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