well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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