they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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