I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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