dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I need to calm my uterus...
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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