i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
